Love is a wonderful feeling. It is really hard to describe and it means different things to different people. I remember watching Disney cartoons while growing up and having a fixed definition of ‘true love’. You know the kind of movies where you have a damsel in distress who is waiting to be rescued from her distress. She finally meets her prince charming, falls in love within 24 hours and rides off towards the sunset with him. Looking back at those moments, I laugh really hard at the ideas I had about love. One of the benefits of growing up is that you have experiences that shape your mentality and what you really believe. Let me just say that I’m glad I grew up. Now back to awakening love…

I was reading one of the poems written by arguably the wisest King that ever lived. The phrase

“do not awaken love until it so desires”

crept up repeatedly. I stopped reading at some point and decided to ponder on those words. What was the writer trying to convey? Well, I guess living in a world of increasing societal pressure puts this phrase into perspective. People get into relationships for the wrong reasons and end up heartbroken. After having such bad breakup, they rush into another relationship for the wrong reasons and it becomes a vicious cycle of heart breaks and emotional trauma. I would list some of these reasons.

  1. The lonely feeling

Being lonely can hurt sometimes. It might hurt when you don’t have a partner to share your moments with. When you have to binge movies alone instead of watching them with your partner.

You can decide to focus on the positives and use that time to learn more about yourself while experiencing the greatest amount of self-growth and trying out new things.

  1. Family pressure

The pressure of getting into a relationship or getting married can be so much from the family.

It could be subtle hints from parents or even direct confrontations from relatives during Thanksgiving dinner. You know those ‘nosy’ aunts who are all up in your business (smh). You shouldn’t let this be a reason for getting into a relationship or marriage.

  1. Societal pressure

Once you get to a certain age, there’s a level of expectation from the society. Your friends of the same age group are getting into committed relationships or already married.

It becomes a huge burden for you to live up to societal expectations.

Always remember that getting into a committed relationship is SERIOUS BUSINESS and has a big impact on the person you choose to do it with. So make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

  1. The rebound

This is one of the worse reasons to get into a relationship. Rushing into a new relationship after ending another would not necessarily make you feel better. There is a popular statement about breakups “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. I think this statement is flawed. You need to give yourself time to heal and time to ‘awaken your love’ again.

the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”.

I think this statement is flawed. You need to give yourself time to heal and time to ‘awaken your love’ again.

In summary, one thing we all have to realise is that no one but you should have total control of your ability to love and get into a committed relationship. You risk spoiling this wonderful gift (love) when you open up the parcel too early or when you open it up for someone who isn’t deserving. Find out what love means to you. How you ought to give and receive this gift of love. You can start by loving yourself and setting your standards so that when you finally meet someone you will already know what you want in a relationship and what you can not accept.

Remember, broken halves cannot make a healthy relationship, only two whole persons can make a healthy relationship.

Got any comments?
I am a determined, fun loving and easy going. I love reading, dancing and singing. I can be a nerd sometimes. I am a work in progress yearning for perfection.